I have finished college, now its time for me to continue life. I always wanted to go into law enforcement of some kind. Like a sheriff, or just a regular police officer. I pretty much knew this since I was 4. I really do hate all the injustice that I see in the world, and I want to help fix that. Things need to be fair, and just, but in this world, we'd be lucky enough to catch a break. I've seen people get away with so much, what's worse is I've seen other law enforcement types abuse their power. NOT COOL. The world is a very unfair place to live in, I just hope I can make a small difference to this world, even if its only for one person.
I really can't wait to become a police officer! I know its nothing like the movies or television, but I know it's where I'll be the happiest in my life! Especially because of how I want things to be fair for everyone. But there is a catch....
Should I go as the current me? Or the person I want to be?
I've done some research on it, and its tough...I can't seem to really find anyone who's MtF. I've found a few about FtM's, but still. Not only that, Which place will be the most accepting of me? And should I try to hide myself (be a female and tell everyone that I am one) or start as a male, and make the switch in the middle? It's a very tough choice, and there's advantages and disadvantages to both sides. I need to find a place where they would be accepting no matter what. Because of this dilemma, I've pushed back wanting to go to the Police Academy. I don't even have a state in mind, so I feel stuck until I figure that out. If anyone finds anything, I'd be glad to hear about it! :)
Well. that's the career I would like to get myself into. As far as for how I want to live? Simple. A girl :)
Ok, so not so simple. As I previously stated, it will be difficult to pass myself off in a situation like that. I still think it'll be nearly impossible. I believe that eventually I would love to live full time as a woman, but at the same time, I really wish people didn't judge that a guy should act and look like a guy or a girl should act and look like a girl. It isn't fair to the rest of us. I do plan on growing out my hair, although it'll still be short. Maybe shoulder length? Still haven't decided. Another thing that I plan on doing, is removing hair. Can't pass if I have stubble right? I so hate having facial hair. Only reason why I kept it throughout my life is so I can look like a boy. Different story for another time. The last thing that I do want to do for sure, but is still a little scary, hormones.
They won't guarantee that they'll make all the changes one could want, but it sure will help. Of course, I would want to work on getting rid of stubble before changing anything else. It would make the transition process go smoother. This part of my life, hopefully will only take a few years. There are other decisions that I still have to make, like upper and lower surgery. But I think, for now, those decisions could be made with my future partner. I'd like them to be a part of this too. :) And of course, that won't be for many, many years. It is such a big change, and there's so many risks, not to mention the price, I definitely would not want to make it alone.
In my near future, all that I know is I need to get out of this town. I like the friends that I have made here, but it is definitely not a place for me. I need to get out more and explore. A big city would be best. So why am I still in this little town? Fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the big city, fear of being alone. I do have a few places in mind, and I would love to leave by next summer, but fear is still holding me back.
That's all for now, until next time!
~Elle
Note to self: Put up pictures soon >.<
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