Its been just over two months since I've started my hormone therapy. Although I began to have doubts that this was for me, it has gotten a lot better. No longer have I felt angry or depressed or felt the need to hide myself. Of course there are the occasional spurts of depression when life keeps throwing curve balls at you, but I've gotten over those rather quickly. Best part about it? No more suicidal thoughts.
Growing up, because I didn't know what I was, or why I felt the way I did, I kept thinking I was a freak of nature. With my family being religious, that did not help. I mostly tried just focusing on my school work. A few times I did wonder what would happen if I was never around. High school was the more serious time, when I tried to figure out how I could do it, and almost went through with it. Another story for another time though. Glad things got better.
Sometimes I do feel like a freak, or doubt myself in my ability to pass, but when that one person says Ma'am or gives me a compliment on how pretty I look, all my doubt seems to melt away. Surprisingly, that's been happening more often now. Almost exponentially. With each passing day, I feel better and better about myself. More confidence, and more outgoing. I never knew life could be like this. It has been an amazing few months. Well sorry that this blog post isn't too much longer, but I'll make up for it with pictures. :)
The new me. As of July 31, 2011. Just over two months of therapy, still getting in shape, and finally being truly happy with who I am. :) Best feeling in the world!
Asking roommate to take pictures, but wasn't ready for it. Oh well, look cute anyway! :)
As of January
As of July 31. Finally it feels right.
So the last two, comparison of the change from January to July. 6 months. Still not there yet, but getting better. I'll just have to keep it up!
Until next time, with love,
~Ellie
You ARE pretty by the way =P Just so you know.
ReplyDeleteAwww, thank you Fishie!
ReplyDelete